How to overcome a long-term relationship breakup?

Cómo superar una ruptura de pareja de muchos años

How to overcome a long-term relationship breakup, regardless of whether the relationship has been declining for a long time or if it has been unexpected, is a very difficult challenge to face.

When we talk about relationships, it is complicated to separate the rational from the emotional. You are not an exception, you have had your life journey, your highest moments and others where everything is black. But, look, from each moment you have taken something that you can analyse from a distance and understand that it has served you a lot. Experience builds you, moulds you and gives you wisdom.

Let’s talk about how to overcome a love break after sharing many years, how to forget your ex and how to emerge stronger from all that.

Those great moments

Love leaves its mark, always. Every little detail marks us, makes us change, evolve and learn. How to forget the beautiful moments! For example, your first date, the one that was so important to want a second date and then a third. You wanted all the dates. Do not forget the magic of the first big trip together. The planning, the journey, the experiences that the city gave you …

All of this now, that you need to know how to overcome a relationship breakup of many years, comes to you as if instead of memories they were bullets. And what is there to do? Erase them? Get used to them being just memories and nothing else?

You will begin again

You must give space to those memories. Erasing experiences that have been beautiful does not help. It will also not do you any good to cling onto them wishing they happened again. Leave them in your mind and in your heart like a movie that you like a lot and that you can watch as many times as you want, but at the same time learn to trust that at some point you can live a new movie.

And back in the day things were coming to you and you adapted to what previously seemed impossible. You even ended up wanting what you denied years ago. That’s because we mature, evolve and learn new things, including from ourselves. Does all of this sound familiar? The good news is that it will happen again.

Pitfalls, stumbles and the cards on the table

On your journey to understand how to overcome a breakup of many years, you must be generous with yourself and assume that nothing is perfect and difficulties arise over time. They can be the small disagreements, the misunderstandings or the minor incompatibilities that we discover when we share a home. Each one comes to the relationship used to another way of living, of expressing oneself and of acting.

Do not blame yourself for what happened

It is necessary to emphasize that we all have peculiarities, habits and facets of our personality that can be unbearable for others. Assuming this is a great help to move forward in any relationship. But everything counts, and in the long run, other things can be added and, little by little, deteriorate life as a couple.

Passion becomes love and then in a mere habit. In the end, many couples end up immersed in a routine. Days are the same. Work is prioritized and there is never time for the other. Real-time, that of sharing those talks and those looks you know so well. The breakup or the divorce hurts, but at the same time, in all the bad, you can be glad not to have yielded to such routine that would have ended up making you unhappy. 

Accept the heartbreak 

Your partner, or you, or both of you, noticed the moment when the doubts appeared. Novelty calls and some people commit nonsense. Like looking at someone they have only known for two days and giving them priority, and perhaps more, before the one who has given them years of good things (and not so good, but shared after all). You move away, walk away and finally, you find yourself arguing about things like who left the shampoo open.

Maybe there wasn’t a third party but there was that moment to step on the brake and reflect. Starting with a “what are we doing?” and getting to “is it worth it?” This sure has been a bitter path, but necessary to walk so that all those years had been worth it.

By laying the cards on the table you can discover that your path has come to a dead end and that it is best to end the trip because continuing could harm you. Understanding this while you wonder how to overcome a long-term relationship breakup will help you see your situation from a different point of view: you have moved away as a last and great gesture of love; to continue together harming both of you wouldn’t have made any sense.

How to overcome a long-term relationship breakup with as little damage as possible

The path for overcoming a breakup begins at the same moment you take the step. If it is done with care, respect and clarity, it will be easier. If it lengthens, if the damage increases, dealing with rupture can be somewhat more difficult.

However, it happens. You must understand that it is not about regretting or about thinking you have lost time. And this is something that you must understand: a breakup does not mean having thrown years away. By no means. 

Yours was a great story and it happened as it had to happen. In life, everything affects us in one way or another, and if something changes us more than anything is affective and sentimental relationships.

How to overcome a breakup? How to overcome a divorce? How to overcome the memory of your ex and forget it? Perhaps assuming that it is not about forgetting, but accepting that each moment, dazzling or not, served to shape you, improve and learn. All those years were years of learning.

It lasted what had to last. Love is not over in general, the relationship between you is over. Love can be reborn with another person, reinforced and more mature. Different, like you.

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How to overcome a long-term relationship breakup?
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